Q:  I met a guy over the summer that I’m really interested in seeing, but we live in different cities. We flirted on facebook a bit and even hung out twice this summer. I emailed him and told him that I liked him and was curious to know how he felt about me. He stated that he wasn’t sure if we had any spark. And that maybe we need more time or maybe it just isn’t there. Since then, we’ve sent each other a few messages here and there but I’m afraid of coming off as too intrusive. Therefore, I am trying not to send him messages. I genuinely want him to be happy, but I’m still interested in him. What to do?

A:  I think that the best thing to do here is be straightforward.  Send him one more message saying that you like him, and would like to see him again.  If he doesn’t respond, or if he responds and says no, then you can know for sure that he’s not interested.  The thing that makes your situation difficult is that he told you a) he doesn’t think he’s interested, but b) maybe he will be in the future.  So then, you’re in the tough spot of not knowing whether to continue pursuing him, or whether to just give up.  So to clear the air, I’d make one last contact with a very clear “shit or get off the pot” message.  He needs to act now, or loose his chance, but you can’t sit around and wait for him to figure out if he wants you.

Q: hey amber my girlfriend is having trouble achieving an orgasm and cumming when we fool around. I really feel that if i get her to achieve orgasm with regularity it will help our relationship. Any help would be nice thanks.

A: Well, even if it doesn’t improve your relationship, getting her to have an orgasm with definitely improve your sex life. Here are some things that the two of you should work on:

1. She needs to masturbate. If she can achieve an orgasm on her own, it’s more likely that she’ll be able to teach you.
2. She needs to give you lots of verbal feedback about what feels good, and what doesn’t.
3. If you’re not sure about where the clitoris is, find it. The majority of women need their clitoris stimulated in order to have an orgasm (you might want to click on the it’s not a monster, it’s a vagina video here).

The one caution I would give is not to become overly obsessed with giving her an orgasm to the point that it becomes the black cloud over all of your sexual encounters. If sex becomes stressful because all you’re thinking about is whether or not she is going to get off, then she definitely won’t get off, and sex is going to feel like a chore. Maybe you should set aside a time when all the two of you are doing is concentrating on what feels good for her…more of a “sexual experiment time,” rather than a regular sexual encounter. The two of you can talk throughout the whole time about what feels good, and what doesn’t. Also, check out the trouble reaching an orgasm video here.

Q: I recently ended a two year relationship with a girl, and I have started seeing someone else. We’ve been hanging out for about 2 months now and we have sex occasionally. I do not want to get into another relationship at the moment, but it’s not like I go out and hookup with other girls. I like her company and she is a really nice girl, and I don’t want to hurt her. But, I also don’t want her or myself to become too attached. How should I deal with this situation.

A: You need to tell the girl you’re seeing exactly what you just told me. Explain that you just got out of a long relationship, and that you’re not ready to get into anything serious right now. Tell her that you really like being with her, but that emotionally, you’re not at a point where you can be completely attached to another person again. As long as you are honest with her about where you’re at, that’s all you can do. From there, she will have to decide if this is something that she wants to stay in, or if she wants to look for something more serious with someone else.

Q: male can’t use latex now what?

A:  Just because you can’t use latex doesn’t mean you’re off the hook using a condom.  There are condoms made out polyurethane that can also protect you against STDs and HIV.  These condoms may be slightly more expensive, but they’re also thinner, which may mean increased sensation. You should be able to find polyurethane condoms in most pharmacies.

Q: i have masturbated since before i can remember. i didn’t know what i was doing until just recently. is it dangerous to masturbate too much, or at too early an age? could it present problems when i want to have children?

A: First of all, nearly EVERYONE masturbates. Some people start at an early age, and some people don’t start until they are much older. But it is never dangerous to masturbate (as long as you’re not using any sort of object that is sharp or dirty). It won’t negatively affect your health, and will not cause any problems with becoming pregnant or having children. Masturbation is a healthy way to learn about what feels good to you sexually, and help you feel more in touch with your body. Definitely check out the masturbation video here.