Q:  I met a guy over the summer that I’m really interested in seeing, but we live in different cities. We flirted on facebook a bit and even hung out twice this summer. I emailed him and told him that I liked him and was curious to know how he felt about me. He stated that he wasn’t sure if we had any spark. And that maybe we need more time or maybe it just isn’t there. Since then, we’ve sent each other a few messages here and there but I’m afraid of coming off as too intrusive. Therefore, I am trying not to send him messages. I genuinely want him to be happy, but I’m still interested in him. What to do?

A:  I think that the best thing to do here is be straightforward.  Send him one more message saying that you like him, and would like to see him again.  If he doesn’t respond, or if he responds and says no, then you can know for sure that he’s not interested.  The thing that makes your situation difficult is that he told you a) he doesn’t think he’s interested, but b) maybe he will be in the future.  So then, you’re in the tough spot of not knowing whether to continue pursuing him, or whether to just give up.  So to clear the air, I’d make one last contact with a very clear “shit or get off the pot” message.  He needs to act now, or loose his chance, but you can’t sit around and wait for him to figure out if he wants you.