Q: My girlfriend recently told me how many men she’s slept with. It’s a
few more than I have, and she’s younger–I’m having trouble digesting
it. What’s the best way to proceed?

A: Nothing makes you want to puke more than thinking about your significant other with someone else, but most people you date will have a past and, honestly, so do you. Healthwise, it’s important that you know about your partner’s sexual history: how often he/she used a condom, how recently he/she has been tested for various STDs. But, emotionally speaking, your partner’s past is something that you have to try to put out of your mind.
It’s easy to get hung up on numbers but, realistically, even if your girlfriend had been with only one other person repeatedly, you’d find that hard to stomach too. What you’re reacting to is the idea of her being with someone other than you—the number of other someones is irrelevant. If it’s any consolation, your girlfriend has to deal with the same feelings of jealousy when she thinks about your past. However, what it really comes down to is that you can’t get upset with her for things she did before she was with you. Keep your concern on where your relationship is going, not on where she has been.